Psychologists Agree Erotic Romances Can Help Your Love Life

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By A. Charlotte Rose

Erotic romances can help you explore your fantasies, stimulate your libido, and bring you closer to the one you love, according to three psychologists I recently interviewed.

Even though these books may be a little addictive, they are, overall, good for your emotional health and your love life.

They Offer Fun, Fantasy, and Exploration
“The benefits of erotic romances can fun and entertaining to read, encourage fantasy, and encourage explorations of new sexual activities in a safe way. These may be activities that you do or don’t want to try in real life, or may not have the opportunity to try in real life. Do erotic romances create false expectations of men? Perhaps. But no more so than Disney, Jerry Maguire (since when do we need someone else to complete us?), or just about any romantic comedy ever made. If you are someone who left Mr. and Mrs. Smith feeling despondent that you are not married to Brad Pitt or left Harry Potter looking for your magic wand, then yes, you may want to exercise caution when reading erotic romances. However, for most people, erotic romance novels are fiction and can be used as wonderfully sexually stimulating tools for fantasy.”
-Alexis Conason, Psy.D., Licensed Psychologist

They Are Great Aphrodisiacs
“Erotic romances are an important way to get in touch with your romantic feelings and sexual fantasies. They are a way to develop those fantasies, to better understand what you need, what turns you on, and what helps you feel very intimately connected with your partner. Erotic romances can be great aphrodisiacs, and truly a benefit to relationships. Or they can be a fulfillment in themselves and a detriment to your relationship. Isn’t this true of so many things in life? If you can bring it home and share it, it’s great. But if you escape into it, and meet your needs in a more solitary and self-absorbed way, it can become a problem or worsen existing problems. We want to feel the heat! But the important thing is to take those home, talk about them, enact them, experiment, and be freer as a couple.”
Carl G. Hindy, Ph.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist

They Help You Accept Love
“There are multiple benefits to erotic reading material. Specifically for those that are uncomfortable with intimacy or their sexuality, reading erotic romances can increase comfort. For couples that have problems with differing sex drives, I recommend reading these novels as foreplay or a way to increase desire. Additionally, these novels often describe relationships between individuals that learn to accept the love of another and be vulnerable. This is modeling positive outcomes for individuals that struggle with allowing themselves to be open and vulnerable in relationships.”
Nerina Garcia-Arcement, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Psychologist

This was originally published in my Hot Romance column on The Three Tomatoes

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