NEW: Fifty Shades of Grey Toilet Paper


Women who truly want Christian Grey all over their bodies and in the most private places can now fulfill that wish with the new Fifty Shades of Grey toilet paper from ASDA.

It is blended with a fragrance called “your darkest desire.” It comes with a big red kiss on the package, indicating: You can kiss my … assets!

A recent deal was made between movie theater owners and Fifty Shades of Grey producers to used the produce in theaters that carry the movie next year, but consumers can find it in their supermarket starting this week.

“It’s recycled paper, that is how we get the different shades of gray,” said Jonathan Azman, manager of the company that created the producer per a license with E. L. James.

Everyone who has read the books knows that bathrooms in the Grey household were for sex, masturbation, and oral sex, and the characters did not often relieve themselves.

“But that’s not real life,” said one consumer, who was in line to buy several packs of the product. “In real life, we poop, and our bodily fluids need a wipe now and then.”


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