Former Priest Offers Compassionate Insight Into Christian Grey’s Tortured Soul

christian-grey official still

Finally, some compassion and interesting insight into Christians Grey’s wounded soul from Robert Hoatson, PhD. a counselor who used to be a priest and was abused as a boy.

People forget (or do not know yet) that the worst part of Christian’s behavior comes from his own horrible childhood abuse and abandonment. When you know the full character arc–as readers of all three books do–you can understand his flaws in a different light.

“The movie I saw on opening night in a packed New York City theater was not about sex, despite what you might read about Fifty Shades of Grey,” writes Hoatson, in an Op Ed piece in the New Jersey Star-Ledger. “These fifty shades of Christian Grey were shadows hovering over a young man who seemingly had never received any counseling, psychotherapy or sympathy for the sexual violation of his innocence as a boy.”

As an adult, Christian has a therapist — calling Dr. Flynn!–but there was no intervention when he was abused as a teen. Also, he remains close to his abuser, “Mrs. Robinson,” until that bond is broken, so there is a lot of material for a psychologist or therapist to think of.

“The movie was about the “break” in his psyche, which led him to fear intimacy, vulnerability, passion, and friendship,” continued Hoatson. “Christian Grey needed an intervention by a compassionate advocate to help him understand how his life had ironically cycled out of control despite his efforts to control everything and everyone.”

Kudos to Dr. Robert Hoatson for the insights. Read thew full story at the link below.

‘Fifty Shades’ Movie Trailer Debuts on The Today Show July 24


Fifty Shades of Grey fans everywhere are anxiously awaiting the exclusive debut of the movie trailer on the “Today” show July 24. Here are the details for tomorrow from “Today.”

“Today” says they will interview stars Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson, will show a clip of the trailer, and then, a fuller, hotter trailer will be showing immediately after on SO if you can’t watch it on TV tomorrow now worries, you can find it online at

The trailer will debut sometime on the “TODAY” show between 7 a.m. and 9 a.m.

The Today Show is reporting the following schedule of events for Thursday, July 24:

* Savanah Guthrie will interview stars of the movies, Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson.
* Then they will be “airing an exclusive clip of the “Fifty Shades” movie trailer.”
* Then, the full too-hot-for-morning-TV trailer will air right here on immediately following the segment.

The Today Show is reporting the follow schedule of events for Friday, July 25:

* Natalie Morales will get an exclusive behind-the-scenes tour of the movie set, where she’ll talk with cast members as well as the best-selling trilogy’s author, E.L. James on location. This will be on the “TODAY” show between 7 a.m. and 9 a.m.

Information from The Today Show can be found here.

The Today Show interview with author E.L. James in 2012.

If you are thinking of going to the Today Plaza, where you can look in an watch interviews sometimes or interact with the hosts of Today, find information here about making arrangements.

Find a local NBC station near you to watch the show.

Read a great article on why we love Fifty Shades and E.L. James.

Video: E.L. James Interviewed on The Today Show Back in April 2012

You will enjoy this interview with E.L. James at the start of the Fifty Shades of Grey worldwide explosion.

This interview was conducted before the film was made, and when the film deal was first put into place.

More than years later, The Today Show will reveal the first glimpse of the Fifty Shades of Grey film trailer on July 24, 2014.

First Official Movie Still from ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

christian-grey official still

Happy Birthday, Mr. Grey.

According to Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian Grey was born June 18th, 1983. He would be 32 today.

To celebrate his birthday, the first official movie still from the Fifty Shades of Grey film adaption has been released on the book’s official fan pages, on E.L. James’ fan page, and on instagram.

The photo shows star Jamie Dornan at the wheel of his car. We all know the things that went on in that car!

Read about a June 18th Gemini here.

Read more about Christian Grey’s humble beginnings.

Why The Elevator Kiss In ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ Is So Memorable


By A. C. Rose

I did a term paper on Fifty Shades of Grey for my “Theories of Love and Romance” class. Fans of the book will enjoy this excerpt about the elevator scene and why it was so powerful.

In fairy tales, the kiss is the thing that can awakens the sleeping princess or turns the frog or beast back into a prince. Ana wanted that! But in Fifty Shades of Grey it was a refused kiss that first fueled the flames of Ana Steele’s intrigue and desire.

Christian invited Ana for coffee, and on the way back to his hotel she is nearly run over by a speeding cyclist. Christian catches her from falling. “It all happened so fast—one minute I’m falling, and the next I’m in his arms and he’s holding me tightly… He’s staring into my eyes, and I hold his anxious, burning gaze for a moment or maybe it’s forever … but eventually, my attention is drawn to his beautiful mouth. And for the first time in my 21 years, I want to be kissed. I want to feel his mouth on mine.” (p. 48)

They are both deeply drawn and moved by this moment, but Christian, knowing her innocence and his own darkness, refuses to kiss her.

“Anastasia, you should steer clear of me. I’m not the man for you,” he whispers. She leaves the situation fearing she’s misread his interest and he leaves even more desirous of her.

When they finally do kiss, it is in an uncontainable eruption of passion and it is the action that fully launches the erotic adventure between Christian and Ana—and the reader. It, of course, occurs at the Heathman Hotel, before the characters have had a sexual experience, and before Ana has signed the NDA (Non-disclosure agreement) that Christian insisted must be in place before their relationship could begin.

Since paperwork and agreements were a huge part of book one in the trilogy, this scene showed the sheer force of their attraction and illustrates so many of the erotic cues that got the heroine, and the reader, so fully engaged in the story. This passage has become legendary among fans.

“We walk in silence down the corridor toward the elevator. As we wait I peek up at him through my lashes, and he looks out of the corner of his eyes down at me. I smile, and his lips twitch.
The elevator arrives, and we step in. We’re alone. Suddenly, for some reason, possibly our proximity in such enclosed space, the atmosphere between us changes, charged with an electric, exhilarating anticipation. My breathing alters as my heart races. His head turns fractionally toward me, his eyes darkest slate. I bite my lip.”

“Oh, fuck the paperwork,” he growls. He lunges at me, pushing me against the wall of the elevator. Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in a viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his hips. Holy sh-t. His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face, up and his lips are on me. It’s not painful. I moan into his mouth, giving his tongue an opening. He takes full advantage, his tongue expertly exploring my mouth. I have never been kissed like this. My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance that is all about touch and sensation, all bump and grind. He brings his hand up to grasp my chin and holds me in place. I’m helpless, my hands pinned, my face held, and his hips restraining me. His erection against my belly. Oh my… He wants me. Christian Grey, Greek God, wants me, and I want him here, here, now, in the elevator.” (P. 77-78)

When the elevator stops and the kiss abruptly ended, they walk out to the lobby: “I struggle to keep up with him because my wits have been thoroughly and royally scattered all over the floors and walls of elevator three in the Heathman Hotel.” Ana goes off to work still reeling from the experience. “The memory of our kiss this morning comes back to haunt me. I have thought of nothing else all day… to say I was distracted would be the understatement of the year.” (P. 87)

Understanding the chemistry of a kiss can help explain the desire and sexual awakening Ana felt, as well as understanding why she felt fragmented afterwards, and distracted, because the kiss ended suddenly.

In The Science of Kissing, Sheril Kirshenbaum says that a lot goes on in the body before a kiss, and a tremendous amount occurs once the lips touch.

“During a passionate kiss, our blood vessels dilate and receive more oxygen than normal to the brain. Our breathing becomes irregular and deepen; our cheeks flush, our pulse quickens, and our pupils dilate, which may be one reason so many of us closes our eyes.”

“Perhaps most important of all, when we kiss, all five of our senses are busy transmitting messages to the brain. Billions of little nerve connections are at work, firing away and distributing signals around our bodies. Eventually, these signals reach what is called the somatosensory cortex: the region of the brain that processes feelings of touch, temperature, pain, and more. Here they are interpreted, resulting in thought such as: ‘Did he just have onions?’ or ‘where is that hand wondering.'”

Ana was pretty taken with where his hands wandered and this kiss set the stage for the passion that would ensue. “A kiss is more than a kiss,” writes Judith Horstman in The Scientific American Book on Love, Sex, and the Brain. “It is an intimate exchange of scents, tastes, textures, secrets, and emotions. A touch of the lips triggers a cascade of neural messages and chemicals that transmit tactile sensations and sensual excitement, feelings of closeness, motivation, and even euphoria.”


Horstman, J. (2012). The Scientific American Book of Love, Sex, and the Brain (1st ed.). San Francisco, California: Jossey-Bass.

James, E. L. (2012). Fifty Shades of Grey: Book One of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. (1st ed.). New York, New York: Vintage.

Kirshenbaum, S. (2011). The Science of Kissing (1st ed.). New York, New York: Grand Central Publishing.

Artwork of the elevator scene by Ruffles and Restraints.

Article excerpted from: Attraction, Desire, and Falling in Love As Experienced by Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey In Fifty Shades of Grey by A. Charlotte Rose.

‘Pulling Back the Shades’ Authors Consider Christian Grey To Be A Bit of a Devil


By A. Charlotte Rose

Just as Fifty Shades of Grey has hit 100 million in sales a new book has arrived to promote an Anti-Christian Grey point of view… and to detail the way they belieChristian Grey and erotic romances in general are leading women of faith down an inappropriate path.

But the authors of Pulling Back the Shades: Erotica, Intimacy, and the Longings of a Woman’s Heart don’t blame it all on E.L. James and Satan. They say the Christian church is at fault for not nurturing the natural urges of women and for not allowing sexuality to be part of an ongoing conversation.

The book is written by Dr. Juli Slattery, a clinical psychologist who founded Authentic Intimacy, and Dannah Gresh, best-selling author and co-founder of Pure Freedom. They are devoted believers in the Purity Movement and they consider books like Fifty Shades to be pornographic. They pretty much attack the whole erotic romance field, saying the books are not true romances, and that books like Fifty prey on women’s natural sexual and relational urges. They claim women have been seduced into reading erotica with no redeeming or bible-centered content.

The Christian Post has been giving the authors a platform this week to share their beliefs about Fifty Shades, including this article titled, “Pulling Back the Shades Authors Claim ‘Fifty Shades’ Has a Satanic Agenda.” But in fact, one of the authors said she would not go as far as saying it is Satanic.

Only one of the authors read the books, and she had people praying that she did not get lost in the hypnotic, erotic magnetism of Christian Grey–the way the rest of us 100 million or so readers have. I guess I will have to have people pray for me too when I read their book.

I did not interview these authors, but I think this is a news item that is getting a lot of attention and wanted to share excerpts of their Christian Post interview this week.

Author Had People Pray For Her While Reading Fifty

Dr. Slattery said she read the books because she had to, she told the Christian Post.

“My thoughts in reading the trilogy were, “I don’t want to! But I have to.” To have a response to Fifty Shades one of us needed to be aware of the content that was in it more than just reading the summary. A lot of the women that would write us would say, “Well you don’t understand, it’s a love story. You have to read it to understand.” So we really felt like one of us needed to know in detail what the content was.”

“I definitely went into that process of reading the books with fear and trembling and just asking the Lord to protect my mind and my heart. I had people praying for me while I was reading it. In the long run, I’m really glad I read it because I think what people aren’t talking about, and I wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t read the books, was some of the underlying spiritual themes and agendas in Fifty Shades of Grey.”

“The sex is very kinky and very descriptive,” Dr. SLattery surmised. “But what no one had mentioned to me before was that there’s a lot of spiritual things happening. I would even go so far as to say there’s a Satanic agenda because of some of the ways that things that are sacred to us are violated. Some basic examples are, the main character being Christian, that’s his name, and his mom’s name being Grace. But there are other spiritual elements that we talk about in Pulling Back the Shades where a wooden cross, and hymns and Scripture are used throughout the trilogy in a way that just drags Christianity and everything that’s sacred through the mud. I wouldn’t’ have known that if I hadn’t read the trilogy, and I’m glad I’m done reading it.

Women Reading Fifty is Equivalent to Men Watching Porn

Gresh, who promotes chastity among young girls, said that the Fifty Shades of Grey books made her “sad”.

“I’m sad because the book honors and glorifies bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism [or BDSM sex play],” Gesh is quoted as saying. “…and the normalization of erotica that’s resulting from it [Fifty Shades of Grey] will have the same impact on the Church as the advent of Internet pornography and men using it 20 years ago.”

Obviously, in the world of fans, there are some readers who would say, quite frankly, “Thank God for that! It’s our turn to oogle hot men and read about hot sex.”

Gresh addressed the double standard of porn being disgusting in the hands of men but Fifty Shades being whipped out and read in public places. She basically indicated that women are being as gross in their approach to erotic romance heroes.

“Christian Grey, the male figure in the book, is being … glamorized and women, their hearts are palpitating for this fictional character. If men responded that way to porn stars that they’re watching, we would find that repulsive as women.”

The Church is Also At Fault for the Popularity of Fifty Shades

In a second interview in the Christian Post, Dr. Slattery was asked: Why do you think there’s so much frustration, confusion or discomfort when it comes to openly dealing with and discussing women and sexuality, specifically in Christian contexts?

Her response: “One of the reasons why so many Christian women are reading Fifty Shades of Grey is because there hasn’t been good teaching coming from Christian sources on sexuality, so they just go to the world without having that discernment. Why is that? I think people falsely make the assumption that because sex is private, the conversations about sex should be private. In other words, you can teach about sexuality, the “Song of Solomon” teaches about sexuality and there are many places in scripture that mention sexuality, without sharing privately what happens between a particular husband and wife.

“Also, there’s just shame associated with sexuality. It’s probably one of Satan’s greatest schemes, is that he uses so many avenues to pair sexuality with shame. A woman who gave away her virginity in her teen years [may] feel shameful and guilty about her sexuality. A woman who was sexually abused as a child has any sexual response paired with terrible shame, and that just doesn’t go away once you get married. There’s still shame associated until the Lord really breaks those bonds.”

“In our ministry, Authentic Intimacy, we talk pretty frankly about sexuality in a Christian context and for some churches that’s difficult for them to give us the freedom to address the questions that women have about sex because there’s an element of, “Wait a minute, we shouldn’t be talking that openly.” But in fact, we should be talking openly so that women have a biblical source of getting their questions answered.”

Although the book takes a very different point of view then most Fifty Shades fans, it does address the concept of being “addicted” to erotica. Some hardcore Christian Grey fans will be first to admit they are addicted to the books!

They also say their book addresses Five Core Longings in women, which, interestingly, coincide with some of the longings fans have discussed in relation to what draws them to Fifty Shades of Grey and other books about protective hot alpha heroes who need a little fixing up. These are the longings they say they address from a Biblical perspective.

  • to be cherished by a man
  • to be protected by a strong man
  • to rescue a man
  • to be sexually alive
  • to escape reality
  • The part I appreciate about this book is that the authors are saying, “Christian women don’t have to choose between being sexual and spiritual. They have legitimate longings that the Church has been afraid to talk about.”

    The part I don’t like is the idea that books like Fifty Shades of Grey are “exploiting” women of faith. I give women more credit than that, and believe as addictive as book buying may be, God gives us free will over whether we use that Amazon one-click feature or not!

    There was a big study last year that pinned Christian Grey as an abuser, libraries that have refused to carry it, and there have been complaints from people who bought but did not enjoy the books, but overall there has been relatively little backlash on the books themselves. Fans have been frustrated about the movie, but they LOVE the books.

    If Pulling Back the Shades opens up a shame free discussion about sex for women and couples of faith, we are all for it. But of course we take issue with the idea of one trashing another book to make a point.

    These authors, I am sure, are believers in their message and their experience. But it is a tiny bit ironic if they end up having a bestseller based on trashing another bestselling book.

    At this writing, the book is not trending as well as Fifty Shades of Grey on Amazon.

    If you would like to check out the point of view presented in Pulling Back the Shades, you can order here.

    Video Interview: When Will We Know About Second ‘Fifty Shades’ Movie?

    Fifty Shades of Grey producer Dana Brunetti spoke with MTV on the red carpet at the Oscars.

    They asked how true to the book the movie will be and when we will know more about the sequel.

    You can see the video interview at the link below:

    “E.L. [James] was there every day,” Dana Brunetti of the author’s participation in the movie. “She was very hands-on. To have the author there definitely makes it pretty faithful.”

    As for book two as a movie: “I have no idea yet. We haven’t even started discussing that yet. We just want to get this one wrapped and get it cut. We’ll see the cut, see how it goes, and once it’s released, we’ll start discussing what happens next.”