19 Healthy Ways to Chase Away the Blues

could use another orgasm


By A.C. Rose

Feeling bummed out, disappointed, and worried about the future? Overwhelmed by social media that is filled with fear and anger? Although we are all entitled to our feelings and opinions, it is important to pull away from negativity and focus on life’s pleasures.

Sometimes the best path to healing is small acts that bring back peace, rejuvenation, and a refreshed attitude.

Here are 19 simple things that you can do in five minutes or less to restore a sense of hope.

1. Take a dance break. Turn on your favorite music and dance. Shake the stress out of your body.

2. Jump in the shower. Refreshing water can help melt away worries and wake up your mind.

3. Go for a walk around the block. Breathe in fresh air and enjoy the changing pace as you move through different blocks, neighborhoods, or parks.

4. Make a happy list. If you feel low, lift your spirits by writing a list of the things that make you happy, and take a moment to remember why.

5. Search for inspirational quotes. Words of wisdom can do wonders. Go on the Internet to find quotes on happiness, motivation, and possibility.

6. Put yourself on the beach. Watch a film clip or video — or look at a photo — that transports you there. Or go there if you can.

7. View a snippet from a favorite movie. Don’t have time to watch a whole film? Find many of your favorite scenes on the web for quick viewing.

8. Listen to music. Play a piece of music that enlivens you and wakes up your system.

9. Use scents. Aromatherapy can relax and uplift people, but a favorite perfume or essential oil can too. Surround yourself with smells that make you feel good.

10. Call a friend. A quick chat with a bestie can help put things in perspective.

11.  Sip your morning brew in quiet. Get up early to take a brief break for tea or coffee as you greet the day before everyone else in the house does.

12. Throw stuff out. Grab something (or more than one thing) you’ve been meaning to ditch, toss in a garbage bag, and get it out of the house. You may feel a lightness of being.

13. Make someone’s day. A short call to an elderly loved one or someone less fortunate can help you forget your own troubles.

14. Meditate briefly. Five minutes of quiet can do a lot of good. Just focus on your breathing and relax.

15. Enjoy a work of art. Whether it’s in your home or something you spot online, get lost in the beauty of an image you adore.

16. Enjoy a waterfall. If you can’t sit by a waterfall, find a video online and let the sight and sound of water calm you.

17. Smile. You cannot be upset when you smile. Try smiling even when you are feeling bad.

18. Laugh out loud. Sometimes all you need is a few minutes of something that makes you crack up to chase a blue mood away.

19. Have an orgasm. Anyway you choose!


The Womanizer: My New Plastic, Fantastic Lover

By A.C. Rose

OMG, I got a new lover — The Womanizer by epi24.

This is is BEST sex toy ever. It is lightweight and quiet, and creates the feel of multiple tongue strokes with a unique sucking motion and makes you orgasm within two or three minutes (or sooner, for some).

There is no wear and tear on the hands, fingers, or the body. Instant, intense orgasm is yours. Seriously LOVE this toy. It is actually the only one I own!

Recommend you keep it handy when reading hot books. Or anytime you need a quicky.  But not a bad thing to use in the boudoir with your honey when his/her mouth or hands need a little time out. Just beware: Your lover may get jealous of the superpowers contained in The Womanizer. It’s that close to the feel of a human and that good!

I always say, a man lights up like a match and a woman heats up like an oven. Sex research has shown us time and again that a man can orgasm in two or three minutes (or less) and a women takes at least 14-28 minutes, and likely more.

The Womanizer turns the orgasm stats in a woman’s favor. You do not even need any foreplay or fantasy for it to work. It just does it’s thing!

The toy is very smooth and comfortable to hold in your hand. It is also elegant-looking, and comes in pretty colors, with a protective and nice-looking carrying case.


Here are some details from the makers of The Womanizer:

The indirect clitoral stimulator uses PleasureAir Technology to deliver an entirely new type of stimulation that has women going from zero to 60, safely, and often multiple times.

It’s comparable to receiving oral sex from a skilled partner. At its lowest intensity, it feels like gentle kisses against the clitoris. Add a little more power and the sensation gets stronger.

There are 9 Available Styles: Black/Leopard, Pink/Leopard, Blue/Croc, Pink/Croc, Black/Tattoo, Red/Roses, Pink/Pink Swarovski Crystals, Pink/White Swarovski Crystals, Black/Leopard Print Swarovski Crystals

Key Features:

– PleasureAir touchless stimulation produces fast, often multiple orgasms

– 5 adjustable levels of intensity

– Exchangeable easy to clean silicon stimulation head

– USB Rechargeable lithium ion battery

– Zipper Travel Case

*Based on a sampling size of 100 women, 50% orgasm in 60 seconds or less, 80% orgasm between 2-3 minutes, and three-fourths experienced multiple orgasms.

(I heard it was invented and tested by a hubby and wife team who worked together to perfect it. They did a good job!)

My final thoughts:

Full disclosure: The Womanizer folks provided the the product so I could test-drive it. I had never heard of anything like it so I was curious to see how it worked. I truly love it. And recommend it.

Make sure you use a little lubricant because the “pleasure air” can make things a little dry without it. Still a good feeling all around.

As with anything else, you can ask your doctor if this is the right item for you–if your dare. Also, make sure you read the instruction booklet that comes with The Womanizer and keep it clean per instructions.

It’s a pricier orgasm aid than your finger or some of the other items on the market, but worth it.

One of the things I love about it is if you position it correctly just over the clitoris, it does the job without having to move your hands, or rub, or work too hard. You don’t have to work at all for your orgasms, in fact.

They come in lots of colors and styles, from Leopard to Black Tattoo (below). Get yours here:



16 Inspiring Quotes About Spring

Pink Rose

“The first blooms of spring always make my heart sing.” –S. Brown

“No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn.” — Hal Borland

“Never yet was a springtime, when the buds forgot to bloom.”— Margaret Elizabeth Sangster

“It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.”– Rainer Maria Rilke

“I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright.” – Millard Kaufman, screenwriter and novelist
“The beautiful spring and when Nature resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive also.” —Harriet Ann Jacobs

“Science has never drummed up quite as effective a tranquilizing agent as a sunny spring day.”–W. Earl Hall

“With the coming of spring, I am calm again.” –Gustav Mahler

“The earth laughs in flowers.” –e.e. cummings

 “Spring is when life’s alive in everything.”Christina Rossetti

“Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party’”  –Robin Williams

“Behold, my friends, the spring is come: the earth has gladly received the embraces of the sun, and we shall soon see the results of their love!”– Sitting Bull, Lakota tribal chief

“April hath put a spirit of youth in everything. “ —William Shakespeare

“Despite the forecast, live like it’s spring.” –Lily Pulitzer

“That is one good thing about this world…there are always sure to be more springs.” L.M. Montgomery

‘Tis like the birthday of the world,
When earth was born in bloom;
The light is made of many dyes,
The air is all perfume:
There’s crimson buds, and white and blue,
The very rainbow showers
Have turned to blossoms where they fell,
And sown the earth with flowers.

—Thomas Hood, English humorist and poet



I Heart Turkish Actor Kıvanç Tatlıtuğ


AROUSAL features gorgeous European billionaire Nicolai Petre. He melts panties with just one glance. He charms you with his hand kisses. He takes you over with his sexual power. He doesn’t like to take no for an answer.

If we were doing a movie, Turkish actor Kıvanç Tatlıtuğ, specifically in the first two episodes of the TV series Kurt Seyit ve Sura, would be my choice to play Nicolai. I cannot understand Turkish, but he speaks with his eyes, his body, and his charm. And he’s 33, same age as Nicolai. Moreover, the way he falls so deeply in love, so quickly, and shows affection for his beloved, Sura, is so like Nicolai and Allison. Their first glances across a crowded room … wow.



Lear more about this versatile, super hot actor on imbd.com.


AROUSAL will ignite your heart and senses. Order here.



A Real Christian Grey Talks About BDSM and Fifty Shades


By A.C. Rose

As fans get ready for a peek into the Red Room of Pain with the release of the film adaption of Fifty Shade Darker, seems like a good time for a little sneak peek into the life of a real dominant. I located such a man in San Francisco and asked him to, um, enlighten me.

Danarama, as he is known in BDSM circles, is not a billionaire who looks like Jamie Dornan, but he is an experienced Master who has lived the BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Sadomasochism) lifestyle for over 25 years and now teaches kinky sex techniques in instructional videos. Part of his mission is to show people how to act out their favorite parts of Fifty Shades of Grey via a collection of instructional videos called 50 Skills of Grey.

A former VP of Marketing for small companies, Danorama went from working in a vanilla corporate world to teaching about kink and pleasure. His rope skills originated in his rock climbing days and grew over 12 years as part of the rope bondage instruction duo Two Knotty Boys. These days he considers himself a BDSM generalist — instructing on everything from the importance of a woman’s g-spot (and how to find it!) to how to learn Fifty Shades of Grey impact play — which may include a riding crop, a flogger, a belt, and a spanking.

I interviewed Danarama for CafeMom about the life of a dominant and his thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey when the first movie came out.

What exactly is a male dominant?
A male dominant — or the female equivalent, a dominatrix — is someone who takes the “top” role in a consensual power exchange relationship or play session, usually between two persons where one is dominant and the other submissive or “bottom,” or one is sadistic (enjoys inflicting pain) while the other masochistic (enjoys receiving pain). At the upper end of this dynamic, one is the Master and the other enjoys serving as a slave.

How does one decide to become a Dom, anyway?
People discover their desire for this type of interaction and decide on their role through any number of ways. Many in the BDSM lifestyle can point to a seminal moment in their lives when they realized that kinky or dominant/submissive concepts appealed to them. Whether it was a scene in a movie they saw, or while playing role-based or physical games, or dreams and fantasies, or even through the suggestion of their lover, there is usually a moment or series of moments that the person found distinctly arousing. It may take them years to explore those feelings and seek more, but once the genie is out of the bottle, many find their wishes come true if they find a compatible partner in the complementary role.

So, did you actually read Fifty Shades of Grey?
Yes. I’ve read the novel Fifty Shades of Grey … I wanted to compare its fiction to the reality of BDSM, educate its readers about the techniques depicted, and correct any misconceptions or inaccuracies the book puts forth. In fact, Kink University created a 14-part video series that specifically explains these skills and concepts.

We’ve heard a lot about ‘vanilla sex’ as compared to kinky sex, do the twains ever meet for you? Do you only enjoy BDSM or do you splash in a little vanilla romance from time to time?
BDSM is simply part of the entire spectrum of lifestyle and romance in my life. That’s how it is for most people. Sure, I like a good, hard, kinky sex session — but making sweet, tender love with my partner is equally awesome. That’s the nice thing about BDSM. It only adds to your available repertoire of sensuality. You don’t have to give anything up — even vanilla sex in the missionary position and the lights off, if that’s what gets you both off.

Maybe you can enlighten us on some of the sex play in the book, such as blindfolding, spanking, handcuffing, getting tied up, using a riding crop, sex toys, and of course, silver balls. Are those items you have or would use with a submissive?
These are all pretty basic tools of the trade, so yes, I have used all of these — sometimes in the same session. You can see how these very tools and toys are used in actual BDSM encounters by watching our new how-to tutorials on 50 Skills of Grey. The wonderful thing about these items is they add a whole new dynamic spectrum to sensuality. The more of these tools you can enjoyably use in an encounter, the more diverse your passion can be. That’s one of the nice things about BDSM. It gives couples more to do. It makes things less boring because there’s always something else to share. And if you or your partner winds up not liking one tool, toy, or game, there are so many other things to try. BDSM takes the ceiling off of passion.

There have been some complaints from the BDSM world that Christian Grey misrepresents the true role of a dominant. What are your thoughts?
I don’t think he misrepresented being a dominant. It’s just that most dominants are more passionate about their dominance and would not settle for a partner who seemed as tentative about submitting, especially in a city like Seattle where eager submissives abound. For someone who claims his “tastes are very singular,” he certainly sells himself short — and that’s a rare trait for a dominant.

In your world, what Fifty Shades-inspired kink are women and couples seeking to learn?
That’s as widely varied as the women themselves. In my experience, most of the women who are drawn to the submissive role in BDSM are very strong, intelligent individuals who control a lot in their lives. They are career women, mothers, health care workers, even teachers. What they get from a submissive BDSM dynamic is the release — or the challenge — of relinquishing control to another. Couples should always be looking for ways to keep passion and sex fresh, and Fifty Shades of Grey makes a good starting point for exploring ways kink can add to their romantic repertoire.

One of the ways Christian kept Ana on the edge was she never knew what he would do next. How much is the creation of anticipation part of a real Dom’s experience?
That depends on the encounter. Sometimes a couple agrees to do a specific type of scene, be it a rope suspension, needle play, or spanking. In these cases, surprises are not always safe or even welcome. However, building anticipation can be a wonderful part of a free-form scene, where improvisation — within the submissive’s limits — creates a very dynamic experience. This is especially easy to do using sensory deprivation techniques, such as blindfolds.

For the unenlightened, what does it feel like to dominate someone?
Dominants experience different rewards or feelings from engaging in BDSM. For sadists, some find a cathartic and physical release of stress by taking out aggression upon a consenting partners who enjoy experiencing pain for their own catharsis or other reasons. Good BDSM is always symbiotic like that. Other dominants are more service-oriented, playing their role or plying their craft as a form of expression, approval, or even for the fulfillment of their submissive. Still others enjoy the power they feel at being able to control another’s sensations, actions, lifestyle choices, or sexuality — in a way that’s desired by their submissive. That consensual quid pro quo is what makes BDSM different from abuse. It’s honestly enjoyed by both.

Have you ever had a contract with a sub? How do you make agreements?
Yes, I have had such contracts, but usually a contract indicates ownership, such as the terms between a Master and slave. In typical arrangements which are less formal, couples negotiate on the activities, toys, and their limits. Negotiating can be as simple as a brief conversation before a scene, or as thorough as completing a long negotiation form where each topic, item, and limit is spelled out.

Does sex play in your role as a Dom usually culminate in a penetrative sexual experience? Or oral sex? Or an orgasm? In general, for your or your partner, is that a final goal?
In BDSM, sexual contact, like any aspect of the play, is negotiated and consented to beforehand and even during the encounter. When I do BDSM with my lovers, it usually involves sex. However, when I am doing BDSM activities such as rope bondage or impact play, in a more public setting or with a new partner, this almost never involves any type of sexual contact.

Learn more: Catch Danarama in action any given day at KinkUniversity.com and, also, 50SkillsofGrey.com.

Written by A.C. Rose for The Stir. A.C. Rose is a sex and love columnist and author of erotic romances. Her latest book is AROUSAL.








We Still Adore Mr. Darcy

He’s rich, powerful, noble, and very good looking. He is beloved by women around the world who continue to admire and ardently love him. He remains one of the most adored romantic heroes ever—not bad for a bloke who is over 200 years old.
He’s Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy. And time has only served to make him finer.
This week marks 204 years since the first publication of Jane Austen’s classic book Pride and Prejudice.
In recent times we have had two powerful film versions by that brought Mr. Darcy alive and imbedded him deeper in our hearts: Collin Firth starred in in the BBC Mini Series in 1995, and Matthew Macfadyen stepped in those shoes in the movie remake in 2005.
So what gives Mr. Darcy staying power as a fictional character (fantasy boyfriend) and why do fans continue to love him? Many fans say they fancy the romance and civility of the Regency era that was Austen’s world.
We asked some experts to share their thoughts on what makes Darcy such a catch in modern times.
1. He is a desirable alpha male. It’s no secret that women love strong romantic heroes. Duana C. Welch, PhD, author of Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do offers a scientific point of view. In Mr. Darcy, we have:
-A hero who is rich, rich, rich.
-And powerful, powerful, powerful.
-Oh, and very good-looking.
-And tall.
-And a leader with qualities such as good judgment and generosity.
“The world over, women fantasize about being swept away by such a man, because the world over, women correctly infer that these qualities are tied to provision and protection,” says Welch. “We probably inherited these preferences from our female ancestors, who survived and thrived better in a red-claw world if they had a strong and capable mate bringing home the wild boar.” So a man with the genetic goods, like Darcy, not only provides and protects, he may give those good genes to prospective offspring.
2. His brooding is a sign of power. Darcy is more like a cold fish than a hot prospect in the eyes of Elizabeth Bennett when they first meet him, yet other women see a great catch. “He’s an enduring object of female desire because of his personality, too,” says Welch. “At the beginning of the novel, Darcy is brooding, taciturn, and difficult to please. Research shows that women tend to think such men are the best providers.”
3. He’s all in. Darcy may appear the classic unavailable man, but we come to know that he is love sick with his desire for Elizabeth. “He is the tortured soul, who longs for the heroine… even though he does not want to,” says Silke Jahn, Founder and Editor of Romance & Smut, an online literary hub for romance novels. “But once he makes his mind up, he is all in and pursues the relationship with focus. In this way he really is not all that different at all from modern romantic heroes.”
4. He risks it all for the woman he loves. Darcy is a rich young guy with power living in an era where status and conventions hold a lot of weight. “A man with resources who won’t commit his heart to the heroine is no good at all,” says Welch. “But Darcy is focused solely on Elizabeth. He could have any woman he wanted, being the universally sought hottie he is. But in women’s fantasies, and in Austen’s romance novel(s), the heroine is special, singular, worthy of his wholly focused pursuit.”
“Darcy faces the scorn of his closest living relative and possibly society at large by pursuing and desiring a woman far beneath him in family connections and status. He risks giving up his social world to make her his world, doing whatever it takes to utterly conquer her heart.” That he is irresistibly drawn to Lizzie makes the victory of his devotion that much sweeter.
5. He admires his woman for who she is. Being appreciated and admired is empowering. And one of the key elements of any romantic fiction is that a reader can put herself into the shoes of the heroine. “Elizabeth Bennett was a modern woman when she was written, and she could still be considered modern even by today’s standards,” says Annie Sullivan, Publicity Coordinator for Professional Development at Wiley. Darcy is even more appealing because he accepts the things in Lizzy that make her so relatable and inspiring to readers :
-She didn’t give in to societal pressure.
-She rejected an offer of marriage that, while it would have made her miserable, would have secured her future.
-She did this in order to have a chance at securing her own happiness.
-She was an empowered woman who chose her own path.
-She doesn’t sacrifice her principles and take the easy road of marrying a minister to gain some financial stability.
-She took her future into her own hands as so many women today still struggle to do.
-She’s the quintessential example of why women shouldn’t settle.
6. The love story of Darcy and Elizabeth captivates us. Packaged into the story is a fairytale with a heroine who follows the beat of her own drum, even though the mores of the day indicate she needs saving. “The Disneyesque aspect of the happily-ever-after here is as familiar as Prince Charming and Cinderella; she marries up, and all her social and financial worries are wiped away,” says Julie Drew, PhD, Professor of English, at The University of Akron. “That part is pretty obvious, and undoubtedly still a draw—the literary version of a lottery fantasy with benefits.”
“On a deeper level, however, Darcy and Elizabeth share a substantive connection over what they believe it means to have a life worth living,” she says. “They value ethics over beauty, personal integrity over public approval, love over pragmatics; and intellectual pursuits over vain ausements. Their union (in the end) is based on friendship, loyalty, mutual respect, common interests, and passionate, romantic love. That makes for a pretty captivating love story, to my mind.”
7. Romantic, yet the struggle is realistic. Like real romances, which can in real life be rife with misunderstandings and family issues, Darcy and Lizzy show that love can be messy and may not happen so suddenly. “One of the greatest and most realistic aspects of the Elizabeth-Darcy romance is that it’s not love at first sight,” says Sullivan. “It is a complex and ever-changing relationship that shows readers that nothing will ever be perfect in life. There are going to be misunderstandings. There are going to be family struggles. There are going to be people trying to pull you apart. But, as long as you listen to your heart, you can secure your own happiness.”



Has Mr. Darcy bewitched you body and soul? What do you love about Darcy, Lizzy and Pride and Prejudice?



As we get ready for FIFTY SHADES DARKER, here are some the most memorable quotes from FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.


“We aim to please Miss Steele”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“Laters, baby.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“What is it about elevators?”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“I’d like to bite that lip.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“Oh, fuck the paperwork”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“I want you sore, baby,” he murmurs, and he continues his sweet, leisurely torment, backward, forward. “Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I’ve been here. Only me. You are mine.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“I still want more,” I whisper. “I know,” he says. “I’ll try.” I blink up at him, and he reliquishes my hand and pulls at my chin, releasing my trapped lip. “For you, Anastasia, I will try.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“I gasp, and I’m Eve in the Garden of Eden, and he’s the serpent, and I cannot resist.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“He’s naked except for those soft ripped jeans, top button casually undone. Jeez, he looks so freaking hot. My subconscious is frantically fanning herself, and my inner goddess is swaying and writhing to some primal carnal rhythm.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“Why does he have such an unnerving effect on me? His over-whelming good looks maybe? The way his eyes blaze at me? The way he strokes his index finger against his lower lip? I wish he’d stop doing that.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“He pulls up outside my duplex. I belatedly realize he’s not asked me where I live – yet he knows. But then he sent the books, of course he knows where I live. What able, cell-phone-tracking, helicopter owning, stalker wouldn’t.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“Anastasia, I’m not a hearts and flowers kind of man, I don’t do romance. My tastes are very singular. You should steer clear of me.” He closes his eyes as if in defeat. “There’s something about you, though,and I’m finding it impossible to stay away. But I think you’ve figured that out already.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“I’ve never wanted more, until I met you.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

“I want my world to start and end with you.”
E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

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